Things I’ve learned about moving…

Looking at Gumtree every day causes a black hole of despair for the hope of humanity.

People seem to believe that sharing a bottle of wine together bonds flatmates… Let me tell you about the countless bottles of wine consumed in my presence  by an ex-flatmate and the accusations and tearful life secrets that followed. Like an episode of Springer.

Is it really advisable, in an ad for a flat, to say that they have a few ‘un-official’ residents? So it’s a commune then?

And in the same ad, to say they have had to get a cleaning lady to solve a few hygiene problems. Sounds amazing, when can I move in?

Many, many people believe themselves to be creative and are seeking other like-minded creative types. One ad described themselves as into ‘slow food, Kurt Vonnegut and Spanish films’. If people were really as creative as they believe, we’d be stuck in a perpetual Renaissance period.

There must be a huge demand in the market for brown velvet couches and black leather couches. Note to self: new business venture?

People in Brick Lane have no living rooms. How sad. Must be why they clog up the streets with their pretentious, twat behaviour.

Apparently you can go to Speed Flatmate nights, where presumably you meet and mingle with these people and go home with a suitable new flatmate. Can anyone see where that might go wrong?

When an ad describes ‘two working girls’ looking for a fun, male flatmate and shows a picture of said girls, instead of room, it is almost a given that it is an ad for sex. http://www.gumtree.com/london/85/43403485.html

Estate agents are liars.

There are a lot of weirdos out there and I am certain that I am more afraid of them than they are of me.

The word ‘near’ is grossly misused.

And the realisation that soon I will be living in a cardboard box.


1 Response to “Things I’ve learned about moving…”

  1. October 19, 2009 at 5:32 pm


    I just discovered your blog through London Food and Drink. My name is Bethany and I write the blog http://www.dirtykitchensecrets.com here in London as well. A few other bloggers and I are organizing a conference on Food Blogging on the 28th of November, 2009 in London.

    We would love it if you could join us. Depending on the number of food bloggers who RSVP, we hope to also have guest speakers talking about relevant issues to Food Blogging such as “How To Improve On Food Photography” or “What Makes A Good Food Blog” amongst others. In any case, it will be an opportunity to meet other food bloggers, some of which are coming from France, Germany and even India, and network, eat delicious food and have a good laugh.

    For more information please visit http://www.dirtykitchensecrets.com/

    We hope to see you there.

    Bethany and the other organisers; Mowie Kay- Mowielicious, Jamie Schler- Life’s a Feast and Hilda Saffari- Saffron & Blueberry

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